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Bob
Feb 14, 2006 12:30:13 GMT -5
Post by Mistress Izzy on Feb 14, 2006 12:30:13 GMT -5
Bob came home from Muse school. He had just finished playing wit his friends, Falallabelle the stunted growth giraffe and Jimmy the goat. They were his best friends, and they had just gotten married two weeks ago. Bob had given Falallabelle away. Bob walked up to his mother and sister. He wanted something to eat.
"Moooooooooooooom. I'm huuuuuuuungry..." he complained. Sarah-Bob turned to him.
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Bob
Feb 14, 2006 16:51:43 GMT -5
Post by Queen Shannykins on Feb 14, 2006 16:51:43 GMT -5
"Too bad. I need to go burn something. Preferrably your half-sister's boyfriend." Sarah-Bob grumbles to her llama son. Sarah-Bob was a pyro (a very good one, sadly), and had a very bad habit of burning things... Living... Things...
Rahari came back from Muse Middle School, or Muse Jr. High, or whatever you want to call it, and did the usual: Shoved Bob and her mom out of the way, and grabbed the phone. "I'm callin Remi, ya know, the babe..." She said and sighed. Remius (Remi...), was Rahari's boyfriend (sadly...). "Is dad, like, coming home today?"
"No, he's off at. Work." Sarah-Bob said. Sarah-Bob was married to Harry Potter. To find out how this happened, read the Stupid Penultimate Peril Parody (OoC.// Yes, I am cheesy plugging Emma's fic... >.> -shifty eyes-)
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Bob
Feb 15, 2006 12:34:53 GMT -5
Post by Mistress Izzy on Feb 15, 2006 12:34:53 GMT -5
As Bob fell to the ground, he shouted.
"MOOOOOOOOOOM! RAHARI PUSHED ME!" -Yes, Bob was a (fake) wimp- and clutched at his knee in (fake) pain..
Aa Rahari 'Mary-Sue-talked' on the phone, he (pretended) to hobble over to her. This gave him an excuse to kick her in the shins, even though he wasn't in (much) pain. And thus, he kicked her.
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Bob
Feb 15, 2006 17:02:43 GMT -5
Post by Queen Shannykins on Feb 15, 2006 17:02:43 GMT -5
"Well, push her back!" Sarah-Bob said, while burning up a house plant for fun. She then noted that Bob kicked Rahari. "Or kicking works good too..."
"OW. Bob, you so totally like, ruined my maicure." Rahari said, and pushed Bob away. Suddenly... THE DOORBELL RANG.
And Remius came in.
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEMI!" Rahari cried and tackled her poor, innocent boyfriend.
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Bob
Feb 16, 2006 12:31:20 GMT -5
Post by Mistress Izzy on Feb 16, 2006 12:31:20 GMT -5
Seeing Rahari tackle her boyfriend, suddenly, Bob's older brother protectiveness kicked in. He death glared Remius, and stalked off to the kitchen, where his mother was burning toast, and then started cutting up the chopping board with a butchers knife, still glaring at Remius.
Once he had finished chopping up the chopping board, he went to make himself a sandwich. Except, Sarah-Bob had burned all the bread.
"MOOOOOOOOOOOM! WE'RE OUTTA BREAD! GO GET SOME MOOOOOOOORE! AND, I'M STILL HUNGRY!"
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Bob
Feb 16, 2006 20:01:03 GMT -5
Post by Queen Shannykins on Feb 16, 2006 20:01:03 GMT -5
Remius was confused as Bob stared him down. "Erm. Sarah-Harry..."
"Rahari, sugarpie honeybunch." Rahari said, batting her eyelashes.
Remius sighed. "Erm. Okay. Rahari, why is your brother giving me a death glare?"
"Dunno, dahling." Rahari said, still battling her eyelashes. Remius looked like he might barf.
Sarah-Bob was cackling evilly and burning toast. "NOW TOAST WORLD IS MINE! MWHAHAHAHAHA!" Sarah-Bob cried. Then she noted that Bob has said/whined that they were out of bread.
"Erm. Yes. Let's get in the SUV." Sarah-Bob said, dragging Bob along. "Rahari, you're watching the house along with Remius. No PG-13ness plus while I'm gone."
"Awww..." Rahari said while Remius looked relived.
"C'mon then." Sarah-Bob said getting into her SUV (which was a Pink Panther version of a normal SUV. Sarah-Bob's car was pink... all... pink...)
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Bob
Feb 17, 2006 12:32:20 GMT -5
Post by Mistress Izzy on Feb 17, 2006 12:32:20 GMT -5
"I hate Remius...He stole my innocent little sister..." Bob muttered under his breath, while Sarah-Bob revved up the SUV as the stupid traffic lights turned orange.
"STAY ORANGE!" she shouted. Bob paided her no heed. He had often experienced trips like this. It was why he started walking to Muse High School.
Suddenly, his older brother protective-ness weared off.
"Thank god, someone got her off my hands. I was sick of her. 'Bob, play with me!' 'Bob, clean my shoes!' 'Bob, do the washing!' 'Bob, if you want food, go make it yourself!' 'Bob, help me decide what to burn!...Oh...Wait...that was you..."
Sarah-Bob glared at him.
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Bob
Mar 4, 2006 17:17:58 GMT -5
Post by Queen Shannykins on Mar 4, 2006 17:17:58 GMT -5
Sarah-Bob glared at her llama son. "Burning is good for your soul."
Sarah-Bob continued driving, and, yes, amazingly- nobody had been seriously injured on the way to the grocery store, however, a purple poofy miniature puffskein named Arnold did sustain minor injuries.
"Okay, Bob, you go get the bread, and I'll just race around the grocery store in a shopping cart!" Sarah-Bob said happily. She loved shopping carts.
"WHEEEEE!" Sarah-Bob said as she zoomed around the aisles of the stores.
Later, she put matches and gasoline into her cart, alas, she didn't know that people stared at her insanely, but that's okay.
"Bob, didja get the bread? Huh? Huh huuuuuuuuuuuuh?" Sarah-Bob said, bouncing up and down. Too bad they forgot her straightjacket.
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Bob
Mar 5, 2006 4:05:46 GMT -5
Post by Mistress Izzy on Mar 5, 2006 4:05:46 GMT -5
"Yes mom, I got the bread. Now PLEASE stop embarrassing me..." Bob sighed exasperatedly. (Ooh wow, gonna have to use spell check on that.)
As they hurried to the check out till, Sarah-Bob saw something...Something that she REALLY REALLY wanted to burn....
"HARRY POTTER!"
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Bob
Mar 5, 2006 11:32:56 GMT -5
Post by Queen Shannykins on Mar 5, 2006 11:32:56 GMT -5
"OH MY GOD. HARRY JAMES POTTER. WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN. RAHARI HAS BEEN SUFFERING YOU LITTLE TWERP." Sarah-Bob cried, bashing Harry on the head with their loaf of bread.
"Aw, dammit, now the bread's smashed..." Sarah-Bob groaned. "Oh well."
"You caaaaaan't blame meeeeeeeeee..." Harry whined. "I was off fighting Lord Voldemort!"
"HA HA HA. Excuses excuses, I want divorce!" Sarah-Bob said, and took out one of the gasoline cans and a match. "Hehehehe. Prepare to die, Potter!"
"Mummy! Noooooooo!" Rahari cried, and ran over and clung to Harry's leg. "Don't hurt daaaaaaaaddyyyyyyyy..."
"Is your sister... and your mother, come to think of it... always this immature?" Remius asked Bob.
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Bob
Mar 5, 2006 15:48:26 GMT -5
Post by Mistress Izzy on Mar 5, 2006 15:48:26 GMT -5
Bob took a moment to weigh out his answer...
"Yep. Always. Always always always. ALWAYS! ALWAYS ALWAYS ALW-"
"Okay, okay..." Remius looked slightly scared.
"Anyways, Mom is just mad at Scar-head, because he went and battled some evil crazy guy, while Mom had Rahari, and then he went of with, and I quote, 'that evil red-headed bitch that was jealous of me'." Bob said, and with that, he left Remius to get more bread.
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Bob
Mar 5, 2006 16:56:01 GMT -5
Post by Mistress Emma on Mar 5, 2006 16:56:01 GMT -5
Remius got more bread, but Sarah-Bob smashed it to tiny little peices as soon as he got in the door.
"We're gonna like, be out of like, bread by the ende of this like," Rahari said as intelligently as a popular person could.
"ZOMG WE ACTAULLY AGREE ABOUT SOMETHING I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Bob exclaimed, quite shocked, and that's an understament.
Sarah-Bob was stomping about angryly. She could not bur Harry at the moment, because he had run away and was now snogging Ginny. And Cho. And anyone else. Sarah-Bob was very mad about this, but she could not do anything at that moment of time. Lucky Harry.
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Bob
Mar 5, 2006 19:23:06 GMT -5
Post by Queen Shannykins on Mar 5, 2006 19:23:06 GMT -5
OoC.// XDDD Rahari is like, such a like, Mary-Sue, like, y'know?
IC.// Sarah-Bob realized she must do something. She set Ginny's hair on fire. "BIATCH FIGHT, LADY. BRING IT ON." Sarah-Bob cried like a maniac. So Sarah-Bob, Ginny, and Cho were having a girlfight, not that anybody really cared.
Remius came back. "I got the breeeeeeeeead!" He cried. Rahari tackled him. Remius groaned.
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Bob
Mar 6, 2006 0:20:38 GMT -5
Post by Mistress Emma on Mar 6, 2006 0:20:38 GMT -5
Then the bread smashed.
"Not again..." Bob groaned. He was sick of losing bread. He happened to like bread, and it being smashed constantly was not exactly plesant for him.
"ZOMG NUUUUUUUUUU WE CAN'T LOSE THE BREAD AGAIN I LIKE NEED IT 'CAUSE IT LIKE MAKES ME BEAUTIFUL AND I HAVE TO BE LIKE BEAUTIFUL WE CAN NOT LOSE THE BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" Rahari ranted, crying. Yes, she cares about her apperance that much.
Sarah-Bob, oddly, ended up scolding her, "It'll serve you right too. Dyeing your hair rainbow without my permision... What is today's youth's problem?"
Rahari took offence at that statment. "Oi! Just because we're like, cool and you're like, fat & old, doesn't mean you get to insult us!" Rahari paused for breath, "I mean, it's hardly our fault, is it?"
Sarah-Bob was annoyed at being called "fat & old". She was mad at Rahari. "GO TO YOUR ROOM YOUNG MISSY!"
"FINE! I NEVER WANT TO LIKE, SEE YOU AGAIN!" Rhari exclaimed, runninig to her room in (fake) tears. 'Cause she's over dramatic, see?
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Bob
Mar 8, 2006 16:56:02 GMT -5
Post by Mistress Izzy on Mar 8, 2006 16:56:02 GMT -5
Bob sighed as he watched his step-sister run up the stairs.
"You see what you did? Now, instead of getting bread, I have to go and get her down off the roof!"
He trotted up the stairs as fast as his llama legs could carry him, up to a cool veranda/roof type thingy...yeah...
"Come on Ra, get down!" he cried to his sister, who was sitting on the roof, bawling her eyes out.
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