Know Your Snickets

InsaneShannon
Guest

Know Your Snickets Jun 8, 2006 14:52:51 GMT -5

Quote

Post by InsaneShannon on Jun 8, 2006 14:52:51 GMT -5

KYS Guide:
Me=The Voice that tortures the ASOUE cast. Will be called Shannon.
____________________________________________________
Violet Baudelaire was sitting down in a normal-looking chair on a stage with the lights lit up. An audience of people stared back at her, looking like they were waiting for something.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..."

"Who's there?" Violet asked.

"Violet Baudelaire...when something doesn't go her way, she curses and screams."

"I just usually get frustrated," Violet said, but she had no idea HOW frustrating dealing with Shannon, the Voice, would be.

"Violet Baudelare...she loves Klaus and hates Quigley!"

Violet/Quigley shippers in the crowd gasped.

"That's not true!" Violet said. "I love Klaus, but as a--"

Quigley ran up to Violet and slapped her. "AFTER WE SHARED THAT MOMENT ON THE CLIFF, THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME!"

"Shannon's making up lies!" Violet said.

"Bite me!" Quigley yelled.

"Poor, stupid Violet," Shannon said obnouxiously.

"I'M NOT STUPID!"

"Then why did you write, 'Funglebungledongledingle' on page 25 of your diary?"

"I AM NOT DUMB! AND I DIDN'T WRITE THAT!"

"Violet Baudelaire...she likes to get drunk!"

Despite being dead, Bertrand Baudelaire came running in.

"VIOLET VERONICA VICTORIA VICTORIOSTA VANDI BAUDELAIRE!" he screamed. "HOW DARE YOU SNEAK BEER AND OTHER SUCH THINGS INTO OUR HOUSE!"

"I didn't!" Violet Veronica Victoria Victoriosta Vandi Baudelaire said. "Shannon's lying!"

Mr. Baudelaire ignored her.

"Violet Baudelaire...her real name is Teloiv Erialeduab."

"It's Violet Baudelaire! You said my name backwards!"

"No, your name backwards is Violet Baudelaire."

"VIOLET BAUDELAIRE IS MY NAME FRONTWARDS!"

"Violet Baudelaire...she isn't 15! She's actually 52!"

"I am fifteen! Must I show you my birth certificate!"

"But it burned up in the fire!" Klaus called from backstage.

"Yeah," said Shannon, "and I don't need a silly sheet of paper to know the truth. Violet is 52."

"I AM NOT 52! I AM 15!"

"Riiiiiiiiiiight, just keep saying that...Violet Baudelaire is in loooooooooooooooooooooove with Isadora!"

"EW! SHE'S JUST MY FRIEND! AND WE'RE STRAIGHT! AND KLAUS IS IN LOVE WITH ISADORA!"

"Really? Actually, Violet's in love with...OLAF!"

Violet was so grossed out that she barfed all over the stage.

"Ew!" Violet said after barfing. "He's evil and old!"

"Really!" Shannon said.

She called to her partner-in-crime, Matthew, "Roll audio tape!"

A tape showed someone who was obviously NOT Olaf kissing someone that was obviously NOT Violet.

"THAT! IS! NOT! ME!" Violet said. "That's parentcest, which is gross!"

"Violet Baudelaire...she made out with a worm!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"

"Violet Baudelaire...she luuuuuuurves Sunny! As a date!"

"EW!" Violet shrieked. "That's femcest, that's just wrong!"

"Violet Baudelaire...took naked pictures of herself and e-mailed them to Quigley!"

"WHAT! THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS! WHERE DO YOU GET THOSE IDEAS!"

"Now you know Violet Baudelaire...she makes out with worms, loves Sunny as a date, and takes pictures of herself naked!"

"ARGH! THEY DO NOT KNOW ME! COME BACK SO I CAN KILL YOU!" Violet exploded.

"Bye-bye," Shannon said obnouxiously.
____________________________________________________
That's the end of Violet's torture. Next will be Klaus, Sunny, the Quagmires, and Olaf.

InsaneShannon
Guest

Know Your Snickets Jun 11, 2006 11:11:18 GMT -5

Quote

Post by InsaneShannon on Jun 11, 2006 11:11:18 GMT -5

Time for Klaus torture.
____________________________________________________
Violet stormed angrily away. Klaus ran up to see what was going on, but as soon as he sat down, the torture began.

"Klaus Baudelaire...he doesn't read, so he's stupid!"

"I'm not stupid! I read! Everyone knows that!"

"Surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre they do."

"They do!"

"Whatever...Klaus Baudelaire...he luuuuurves Duncan."

"EW!" Klaus yelled. "I DO NOT! I LURVE ISADORA!"

"Right, just keep saying that...Klaus Baudelaire....................."

"What? Keep going!"

"Klaus Baudelaire is really impatient!"

"You wouldn't continue!"

"And you said to keep going. Ha."

"What! I never said you could keep TORTURING me!"

"Yes, you did. Klaus Baudelaire...dreams of dropping a bomb on the United States!"

"I do not!"

"He probably would!" Geraldine Julienne yelled. "GET HIM!"

Reporters from The Daily Punctilio wailed the heck out of Klaus.

Shannon sent them off, then Klaus got tortured some more.

"Klaus Baudelaire...hates Fiona, hates Isadora, and loves a worm!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"

"Klaus Baudelaire...his real name is Fruit Loop!"

"MY NAME IS NOT FRUIT LOOP! IT'S KLAUS BAUDELAIRE!"

"Riiiiiiiiiight...Klaus Baudelaire...he eats living, raw fish!"

"I! DO! NOT! EAT! LIVING, RAW FISH!"

"Klaus Baudelaire...he's cheating on Isadora for Fiona, who he's cheating on for Violet, who he's cheating on for Sunny, who he's cheating on for Carmelita Spats, who he's cheating on for Quigley, who he's cheating on for Duncan, who he's cheating on for a worm, who he's cheating on for a fish, who he's cheating on for Styrofoam, who he's cheating on for...THAT SPECK OF DUST OVER THERE!"

"WHAT! WHERE DO YOU GET THESE CRAZY IDEAS!"

"Klaus Baudelaire...takes pictures of Isadora naked."

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!"

"Klaus Baudelaire...wants to be the cutest fairy princess in the world!"

"FAIRY PRINCESSES ARE FOR GIRLS!"

"Now you know Klaus Baudelaire...he cheated on Isadora, he takes pictures of her naked, and wants to be a fairy princess."

"THEY DO NOT KNOW ME! GET BACK HERE!" Klaus shouted.

____________________________________________________
Klaus torture's done. Give me some ideas for Sunny's torture.

InsaneShannon
Guest

Know Your Snickets Jun 15, 2006 15:39:20 GMT -5

Quote

Post by InsaneShannon on Jun 15, 2006 15:39:20 GMT -5

Sunny torture...o.0
____________________________________________________
As soon as Klaus stormed his way off the stage, Sunny toddled up to the chair. No one told her it was a bad move. So let's forget it.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..."

"Who's there?" Sunny asked.

"Sunny Baudelaire...she eats live squid."

"Yuck!" (No translation)

"You may say yuck...but you can't deny it."

"Blecch!"

"Sunny Baudelaire...she wrote a two-thousand-gazillion-page book explaining why she couldn't marry Violet."

"Femcest!" Sunny shouted. ("That's femcest! That's wrong!")

"But Sunny, I thought you liked femcest."

"Never!"

"Don't believe her. On page 20 of her diary she wrote, 'I think femcest is really cool! And femslash! And girl/girl friendslash!' Explain that!"

"Notpossible!" ("I'm not perverted! I don't have a diary! I can't write!")

"Sunny Baudelaire...is so stupid, she doesn't know a card from a chair!"

"NUGAI!" ("I AM NOT STUPID!")

"Whatever...Sunny Baudelaire...she's actually 62 years old, but she's dressed up in a toddler disguise."

"NOT OLD!"

"Sunny Baudelaire...she actually bit Jacques Snicket to death in The Vile Village!"

"ACCUSED!" ("I! DID! NOT! KILL! HIM! WE WERE ACCUSED!"

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Sunny Baudelaire...she set Hotel Denouement on fire for the sole purpose of killing everyone inside!"

"NO!"

"Now you know Sunny Baudelaire...she's really 62, she really did bite Jacques to death, and is a pyro maniac!"

"NOT TRUE!" ("I DID NOT DO ANYTHING! THEY DO NOT KNOW ME! GET BACK HERE!")
____________________________________________________
A/N: Sorry. It was short and not very funny. I promise that Quigley's torture, which is next, will be longer and funnier.

CrazyInsanePyromaniac Guest	Know Your Snickets Aug 12, 2006 0:27:26 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by CrazyInsanePyromaniac on Aug 12, 2006 0:27:26 GMT -5 I LOVE IT. Sheer genious! Please continue!

nikki ^_^
Albino Black Llama

Posts: 3,529

Know Your Snickets Aug 15, 2006 4:16:02 GMT -5

Quote

Post by nikki ^_^ on Aug 15, 2006 4:16:02 GMT -5

yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

keep going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mistress Emma The Mistresses and Masters I'm weird. And obsessive. And hypo. 'Cause I'm just cool like that. ;D Posts: 4,536	Know Your Snickets Aug 15, 2006 6:07:13 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Mistress Emma on Aug 15, 2006 6:07:13 GMT -5 o.o That's a helluva lotta exclamation marks.
	"And the preps start on the 32nd of January" ~Me "They look like hats with wheels" "Mr. Morgan, he insulted my work! He said they looked like hats with wheels!" "To be more specific, they look like Mexican hats with wheels..." ~Tom C/Tamara/Mr. Morgan My Comic Sucks: www.drunkduck.com/My_Comic_Sucks/index.php?p=79387

nikki ^_^ Albino Black Llama Posts: 3,529	Know Your Snickets Aug 15, 2006 6:11:50 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by nikki ^_^ on Aug 15, 2006 6:11:50 GMT -5 I llllllllllllllllllllllluuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeee !!!!!!!exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nikki ^_^ Albino Black Llama Posts: 3,529	Know Your Snickets Aug 15, 2006 6:13:21 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by nikki ^_^ on Aug 15, 2006 6:13:21 GMT -5 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mistress Emma The Mistresses and Masters I'm weird. And obsessive. And hypo. 'Cause I'm just cool like that. ;D Posts: 4,536	Know Your Snickets Aug 15, 2006 7:30:51 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Mistress Emma on Aug 15, 2006 7:30:51 GMT -5 o.o As we can see. Who are you?
	"And the preps start on the 32nd of January" ~Me "They look like hats with wheels" "Mr. Morgan, he insulted my work! He said they looked like hats with wheels!" "To be more specific, they look like Mexican hats with wheels..." ~Tom C/Tamara/Mr. Morgan My Comic Sucks: www.drunkduck.com/My_Comic_Sucks/index.php?p=79387

Mistress Izzy The Mistresses and Masters The Uber Awesome -tackleglomp- Posts: 9,663	Know Your Snickets Aug 15, 2006 11:52:18 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Mistress Izzy on Aug 15, 2006 11:52:18 GMT -5 WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP POSTING HERE. POST ON THE REVIEWS BOARD! GOD!
	death by cleavage. what a way to go. right, zach?

CrazyInsanePyromaniac Guest	Know Your Snickets Sept 21, 2006 20:14:27 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by CrazyInsanePyromaniac on Sept 21, 2006 20:14:27 GMT -5 There is now reviews for section for this fanfic.

Mistress Izzy The Mistresses and Masters The Uber Awesome -tackleglomp- Posts: 9,663	Know Your Snickets Sept 22, 2006 16:52:27 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Mistress Izzy on Sept 22, 2006 16:52:27 GMT -5 ....I don't wanna seem rude...but...WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
	death by cleavage. what a way to go. right, zach?

Mistress Emma The Mistresses and Masters I'm weird. And obsessive. And hypo. 'Cause I'm just cool like that. ;D Posts: 4,536	Know Your Snickets Sept 22, 2006 23:47:54 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Mistress Emma on Sept 22, 2006 23:47:54 GMT -5 -shrugs-
	"And the preps start on the 32nd of January" ~Me "They look like hats with wheels" "Mr. Morgan, he insulted my work! He said they looked like hats with wheels!" "To be more specific, they look like Mexican hats with wheels..." ~Tom C/Tamara/Mr. Morgan My Comic Sucks: www.drunkduck.com/My_Comic_Sucks/index.php?p=79387

nikki ^_^ Albino Black Llama Posts: 3,529	Know Your Snickets Oct 5, 2006 3:50:44 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by nikki ^_^ on Oct 5, 2006 3:50:44 GMT -5 Me or the pyromaniac?

Mistress Emma The Mistresses and Masters I'm weird. And obsessive. And hypo. 'Cause I'm just cool like that. ;D Posts: 4,536	Know Your Snickets Oct 5, 2006 4:19:53 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Mistress Emma on Oct 5, 2006 4:19:53 GMT -5 The pyromainac.
	"And the preps start on the 32nd of January" ~Me "They look like hats with wheels" "Mr. Morgan, he insulted my work! He said they looked like hats with wheels!" "To be more specific, they look like Mexican hats with wheels..." ~Tom C/Tamara/Mr. Morgan My Comic Sucks: www.drunkduck.com/My_Comic_Sucks/index.php?p=79387

Post by InsaneShannon on Jun 8, 2006 14:52:51 GMT -5

Post by InsaneShannon on Jun 11, 2006 11:11:18 GMT -5

Post by InsaneShannon on Jun 15, 2006 15:39:20 GMT -5

Post by CrazyInsanePyromaniac on Aug 12, 2006 0:27:26 GMT -5

Post by nikki ^_^ on Aug 15, 2006 4:16:02 GMT -5

Post by Mistress Emma on Aug 15, 2006 6:07:13 GMT -5

Post by nikki ^_^ on Aug 15, 2006 6:11:50 GMT -5

Post by nikki ^_^ on Aug 15, 2006 6:13:21 GMT -5

Post by Mistress Emma on Aug 15, 2006 7:30:51 GMT -5

Post by Mistress Izzy on Aug 15, 2006 11:52:18 GMT -5

Post by CrazyInsanePyromaniac on Sept 21, 2006 20:14:27 GMT -5

Post by Mistress Izzy on Sept 22, 2006 16:52:27 GMT -5

Post by Mistress Emma on Sept 22, 2006 23:47:54 GMT -5

Post by nikki ^_^ on Oct 5, 2006 3:50:44 GMT -5

Post by Mistress Emma on Oct 5, 2006 4:19:53 GMT -5

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