How To Be A Crazy Corpse Bride Fan

[CrazyShannon]

(I'm inspired by Mistress Shannon again...)
How To Be A Crazy Corpse Bride Fan
Filming: Alex Davi
Starring: Shannon, Amanda, Seth, and Heather

Intro:
____________________________________________________
Shannon: HELLO!

Seth: We're here to shoot a movie on---

Amanda: HOW TO BE A CRAZY CORPSE BRIDE FAN!

Heather: JOHNNY DEPP.

Shannon: S'right, Heather, s'right...

Seth: We're going to give you forty reasons to how you can be---

Amanda: A CRAZY CORPSE BRIDE FAN!

Heather: I LOVE JOHNNY DEPP. WHEEEEEEE.

Seth: And now, the reasons....

[CrazyShannon]

Act 1-Reasons 1-3
Seth: -Barkis voice- I AM EVIL! I KILL WOMEN! MUAH!

Shannon: OK, number one, to become the slightest crazy, you act like the character that is your favorite.

Heather: -bumps into a table- I REALLY REALLY LOVE VICTOR. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE HE'S JOHNNY DEPP.

Amanda: Ooookayyyy....-in Emily voice- Dahling, where are you going?

Heather: Number two, you must say you have a crush on an actor/actress in the film. I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON JOHNNY DEPP!

Shannon: Not huge...gigantic...

Seth: Number three, you put a ring on a stick in the ground in the hopes of making Emily rise from her grave.

Amanda: Didn't Shannon do that? -slight giggle-

Shannon: Erm...-looks sheepish- Let's move on....

END OF ACT 1

[InsaneShannon]

Act 2-Reasons 4-6

Heather: JOHNNY DEPP.

Amanda: ... ... ... ... ... ...

Seth: 'Kay.....number four, if you're mom's getting remarried, you have to make sure it's not Barkis.

Heather: What if my stepdad was Johnny Depp? That would be cool....

Amanda: Erm....

Seth: Isn't Lance a cool enough stepdad?

Shannon: Ok, this is awkward...

Amanda: Ok. Shannon, how about you do the reason...?

Shannon: Alright. Number five, you have to act out the Corpse Bride movie with your friends.

Amanda: Er...number six, you have to be reduced to tears every time you watch the ending of Corpse Bride.

Shannon: OMG IT'S SO SWEET! -cries-

Seth: ...

END OF ACT 2

[Insane shannon]

Act 3-Reasons 7-10

Heather: JOHNNY DEPP.

Amanda: Aughh...

Seth: OK, number seven, you have to be reduced to tears every time you hold the Corpse Bride book in your hands.

Shannon: OMG CORPSE BRIDE! -cries-

Amanda: o_0 Freaky friends.

Seth: Erm, Amanda? Your turn?

Amanda: Huh? OH. Number eight, Victor fans dress like Victor, Victoria fans dress like Victoria, if there's any, and the dumb Emily fans dress like Emily.

Heather: HYPOCRITEEEEEEE.

Shannon: Ok...number nine, if you're a Victor/Victoria shipper like myself, youalways cry if you see tender V/V moments....OMG THEY'RE SO CUTE TOGETHERRRRR! -cries-

Seth: Number ten...if you have a favorite ship, you always yell about watching those scenes.

Shannon: -has a spaz attack- SCENE WHERE VICTOR AND VICTORIA ARE GOING TO KISS! WE MUST WATCH THAT!

Amanda: ...

END OF ACT 3

[InsaneShannon]

Act 4-Reasons 11-15

Heather: I. LOVE. JOHNNY. DEPP.

Shannon: We know that.

Heather: EVERYONE SHOULD LOVE JOHNNY DEPP.

Shannon: Someone get Heaher's straightjacket...-facepalm-

Amanda: I will. -walks off-

Seth: Alright. Number eleven, you go out into the cemetary late at night, dig up the bones of your pet, and take them home to make a model of Scraps.

Shannon: But only attempt this if 1) Your parents are asleep, 2) You have a dead pet, and 3) That pet is a dog.

Heather: DON'T FORGET THE RED COLLAR FOR SCRAPPY-POO!

Seth: Is this the only time where you DON'T talk about Johnny Depp?

Shannon: The other thing Heather is obsessed with. Dogs.

Amanda: -is back- I couldn't find the straightjacket.

Shannon: If I'm not mistaken, her dog Gizmo ate it.

Heather: Did I mention Johnny Depp?

Amanda: Yes. Aren't you forgetting something?

Heather: Huh? OH. Number twelve is that you search WBshop.com for Corpse Bride merchandise.

Amanda: Number thirteen, you beg your parents just to go broke so you can buy all of that merchandise.

Shannon: Number fourteen, you have filled the Corpse Bride section of fanfiction.net and half of your livejournal with Corpse Bride fanfics.

Amanda: What if you don't have a livejournal?

Seth: You go to fanfiction.net.

Shannon: What if you can't get on it?

Amanda: ...

Seth: Number fifteen, when your computer says "You've got mail", you rush outside to see if the Town Crier is going to yell out any news.

Heather's computer: You've got mail!

Heather: OMG I THINK I GOT LOVE LETTERS FROM JOHNNY DEPP! LET ME GO CHECK! -runs off-

Shannon: Anyone wanna tell her they aren't coming?

Amanda & Seth: Nah....

[InsaneShannon]

Act 5-Reasons 16-21

Amanda: How many more acts do we have?

Heather: -comes running back in- THEY DIDN'T COME! -cries-

Shannon: It's okay. -patpats Heather-

Amanda: AWKWARD. OK, number sixteen, you have to be into black and goth.

Seth: Why? What does that have to do with Corpse Bride?

Amanda: Black symbolizes morbidity, Seth.

Heather: HOW DARE YOU CALL JOHNNY DEPP MORBID! -slaps Amanda-

Amanda & Heather: -proceed to wail the heck out of each other-

Shannon: OK, while Amanda and Heather are having their little...um...spat...

Amanda: -from background- FREAK!

Heather: DEPP HATER!

Shannon: ...Numbers seventeen through twenty-one will be brought to you by Shannon and Seth.

Seth: Why don't you start us off...?

Shannon: My pleasure. Number seventeen, if your parents say you can't buy any Corpse Bride toys immediately, you have to whine and cry until they give in.

Seth: Number eighteen, you must dress like your fave character from Corpse Bride EVERY SINGLE HALLOWEEN.

Amanda: Ok, we're back and we solved our issues!

Heather: JOHNNY. DEPP. OH. MY. GOD.

Shannon: Odd. Number nineteen, you have to play your Corpse Bride DVD over and over until the disc breaks.

Seth: But Shan, if the disc breaks, we won't be able to watch the movie anymore.

Heather: I WON'T SEE VICTOR ANYMOOORRREEEEE! -cries-

Shannon: Riiiiight. Good point.

Amanda: Ok. Number twenty is that, if you're a VxV shipper like Shannon, you have to be kicked out of the theater for throwing a shoe at the scene where Emily kisses Victor on the bridge.

Shannon: DIE DIE FILTHY DEADITE DIE! -tosses shoe-

Seth: Emily's not a deadite, and she'd already dead.

Shannon: You don't know what a deadite is.

Amanda: It's from Army of Darkness.

Shannon: Hmph. Ok, number twenty-one, you have to be kicked out of the theater for wolf-whistling or drooling at an actor or actress in the film.

Heather: -looks sheepish- Um...

[InsaneShannon]

Act 6-Reasons 22-25

Amanda: Let's finish this quick. I'm hungry.

Seth: Number twenty-two, you write...um...maybe about twenty fan letters to your favorite actor/actress from Corpse Bride.

Amanda: What if you don't know their address?

Shannon: Weirdo.

Heather: OH. MY. GOD. CALIFORNIA. JOHNNY DEPP LIVES IN CALIFORNIA. OH. MY. GOD.

Amanda: -daydreaming- Huh? OH! Erm, number twenty-three, you must have a crush on an actor/actress in the film.

Seth: Heather has fulfilled that very well.

Shannon: Yes. Number twenty-four, you have chosen Corpse Bride as the theme for your next birthday party.

Heather: JOHNNYDEPPOHMYGODZ! OH, er, number twenty-five, if you see someone act like a klutz, you point at them, yell, "OMG VICTOR'S REAL!" and glomp him.

Seth: What if it's a girl?

Heather: ...

[InsaneShannon]

Act 7-Reasons 26-29

Heather: ...

Seth: It's your turn again.

Heather: Oh! Yeah...number twenty-six, you must kill anyone who hooks up with Johnny Depp.

Amanda: Shannon, you're not a Depp freak either, are you?

Shannon: No. I wrote that especially for Depp Girl over there...

Heather: I SHALL KEEEEEL YOU, VANESSA PARADIS!

Shannon: Good luck. Number twenty-seven, you BEG Tim Burton and WB to make a Corpse Bride sequel, and you throw a temper tantrum and toss rotten eggs at them if they say no.

Seth: Where will you get rotten eggs?

Shannon: ...

Amanda: Number twenty-eight, you carve into your grave, "To My Beloved Victor, I'm Sorry I Never Met You."

Heather: But I wanted to put, "To Johnny Depp"!

Seth: We all know what YOU wanted to put...

Amanda: Number twenty-nine, you engage in a swordfight with someone, just as Barkis and Victor had.

Heather: Victor? That means.....

Shannon, Seth & Amanda: Yes, we know, Johnny Depp...

[InsaneShannon]

Act 8-Reasons 30-33

Amanda: HOORAY!

Seth: Why?

Amanda: This is the act before the last act!

Seth: ...

Shannon: LE AWKWARD. Okay, number thirty, you stalk Tim Burton A LOT.

Heather: Number thirty-one, you hve to love Johnny Depp.

Amanda: o.0 You did not write that.

Shannon: You're right. Heather, that's the wrong reason.

Heather: FINE. The REAL number thirty-one...you argue about who Victor should end up with.

Amanda: Emily.

Shannon: Victoria.

Amanda: Emily!

Shannon: Victoria!

Amanda: EMILY!

Shannon: VICTORIA!

Seth: Number thirty-two...-shakes head-...Number thirty-two, you steal/bid on a CB poster because you're WAAAAAAY too obsessive.

Amanda: Number thirty-three, you go to therapy to get rid of your obsession with CB.

Shannon: We tried it, but my therapist kicked me out.

Seth: ...

[InsaneShannon]

Act 9 is dedicated to Shannon and Emma. :DDDD
____________________________________________________
Act 9: The Last Act-Reasons 34-40

Seth: The last act shall begin in FIVE...

Shannon: FOUR...

Amanda: THREE...

Heather: John--I mean TWO...

All: ONE...

Alex Davi: Annnnnnnnd...ACTION!

Shannon: This is the last act? I'm gonna miss this! -cries-

Seth: Erm...so will I...Number thirty-four, you name your child after your favorite Corpse Bride character or actor/actress.

Heather: YAY! I'M GONNA NAME MY CHILD JOHNNY DEPP!

Amanda: We all know what YOU are going to name your child...number thirty-five, you change your name to the name of your favorite CB character or actor/actress.

Seth: Number thirty-six, you refer to a beautiful woman as 'the real Emily'.

Shannon: And a sweet, caring woman as 'the real Victoria'.

Heather: And a klutzy dude as 'THE REAL VICTOR'! -drools-

Shannon: Oooooooookay.....Number thirty-seven, you beg Tim Burton and WB to let some random architects make a Corpse Bride theme park.

Amanda: Numer thirty-eight, you dream about Corpse Bride every night.

Shannon: Once I had a dream where Victor died and--

Seth: Do we really want to know?

Shannon: No. -evil cackle-

Seth: o_0 Ok, number thirty-nine, you buy a piano and take lessons to be just as good as Victor.

Shannon: And...Number forty of How To Be A Crazy Corpse Bride Fan...say it with me, guys...

All: Number forty, you have seen this movie.

Seth: Now you know how you can be--

All: A CRAZY CORPSE BRIDE FAN!

Shannon: That has been our movie. Good luck being a crazy Corpse Bride Fan!

END OF MOVIE

[InsaneShannon]

HTBACCBF Bloopers:

Shannon: Someone get Heather's striaghtjacket...-facepalm-

Amanda: I will. -walks off stage-

Two hours later...

Seth: Where's Amanda?

Shannon: She said she was going to go get Heather's straightjacket.

Heather: -is printing out pics of Johnny Depp-

Seth: Wonderful. Just wonderful. When's Amanda getting back?

Shannon: Dunno.

Heather: -is salsa dancing with a picture of Johnny Depp-

Seth: Great. We're stuck with the crazy Depp Girl while Amanda's searching for a straightjacket...

Shannon & Seth: -facepalm-

END OF BLOOPERS