Post by Mistress Emma on Dec 21, 2006 1:30:09 GMT -5
Oh Stupid Shippers...
A/N: I was bored. So decided to write this thing. it’s slightly AU to KH4... It actually happens in a AU.
Narrator: Once, five good friends--
Roxas: We’re good friends? I didn’t notice.
Narrator: -facepalm- Shut up Roxas. Anyhow, once, they went to an alternate universe where there adventure had become the 4th installment in the Kingdom Hearts series--
Roxas: OHMYGOD. ALTERNATE UNIVERSES EXIST?
Narrator: We’ve been travelling them, dumbass. Anyway, they found a computer, and browsed their FanFiction.net category. Enter a little flash back.
Naminé: What’s this. “Ur rite i du hav emoshens,” It has romance as a genre...
Emma: It doesn’t list the pairing. It’s probably has something to do with nobodies... Gah. How to we figure out the pairing?
Monique: How about we check the author’s profile?
Emma: -pouts- I was gonna say that... You meanie...
Naminé: Whatever. -clucks the author’s name, “AuthorOfDestiny14”-
" hi! im rachel im 15, luv reading, drawin’, & surfing. ships belo.
my otp is & wil alway b roxma (Roxas/Emma). he is always “bonking” her he he..."
Roxas: That was taken shamelessly out of context.
Emma: That’s like... EW.
Naminé: ...lets keep reading...
"next is mikini (Mikayi/Serini). thes 2 frends shud b mor. Gaarin, ukire, dio, go n di."
Naminé: o.o I pretty sure Mikayi and Serini aren’t lesbians...
Tom: Where are Mikayi and Serini anyway?
Monique: Who knows.
"Next is Tom/Grey Guardian, hes doin “work” 4 her... i hav no detales, i hav 2 wate 4 mi copi of kh5... sob."
Tom: What the hell? WHO IS THE GREY GUARDIAN?
Emma: We shall keep reading.
"Least favs
namine/roxas god this is orfl, bin dun 2 deth. + i hate namine. she shud di."
Naminé: ...she forgot the accent... I hate it when people do that...
"tom/kirthana god, she givs him 1 hug n evry1 is screemin “THEIR CANNON THEIR CANNON!”. "
Emma: She obviously hasn’t got KH5... and you have a cannon???
Tom: What??? And no!!!
Emma: ...never mind... and okay then.
Monique: that’s it, I’m not reading anymore. Let’s go back.
Narrator: So they went back to the front page.
Naminé: Hey this one looks good. “Her spirit will always be with him. But he’ll never know it, and that’s what breaks her heart,” is says it’s something called “Emvek”... What’s Emvek? o.o
Emma: Must be me and Vivek. Let’s read it. :3
Narrator: So they read it.
Monique: Aww... So sorry for you Emma.
Emma: -shrugs- It’s just fanfic.
Roxas: It was a bit weird how he was in love with Rosie.
Naminé: But I like that fic. :3 It was written well. Let’s see the profile.
"Hello! This is the awesome profile of the awesome Katikara54! I am one of those people who write all and every ship, but my favourites aaaarrrrrreeee...
Tom (or Bortert, whichever) and Kirthana.
Lolia and Ekren
Naminé and Roxas
But I once wrote a wonderfully smutty Lolia/Ariola. See list of stories below.
I’m out of things to say... So... Bye?
~Katikara54"
Monique: At least this one has grammar skills...
Naminé: Let’s check the list.
"1: Guided.
Her spirit will always be with him. But he’ll never know it, and that’s what breaks her heart. EMVEK.
2: What He Wants
Most immortals would force her to be with him. He can’t hurt her like that. He wishes he could. ONESIDED AYSKAYAxMONIQUE
3: Shreds
Without her, he can feel his heart breaking to shreds. MEMIKU.
4: Explosion
They are one, together. They can feel the explosions. LOLIAxARIOLA.
INCEST. YURI. LEMON.
5: The Cold Angel
He didn’t really tell if she could show emotion. But he loved her with all his heart. EKROLIA."
Monique: Let’s NOT read “Explosion”.
Roxas: What do we read?
Naminé: How about “What He Wants”.
Narrator: They read that one too. As opposed to eating it.
Monique: ;.; I feel so guilty now.
Naminé: Poor guy...
Tom: Way to go Monique...
Emma: That was... Depressing...
Tom: WE NEED TO READ SOMETHING HAPPY NOW!
Roxas: -goes back to front page- “ ‘HEEEEEEEEELP! ROXAS WANTS TO EAT ME! I’M THE ONE WHO LIKES EATING PEOPLE!’ a very odd day with Roxas, Emma, and false cannibalism. NOT A ROXMA. NOT A ROXMA.”
Naminé: -clicks on link-
Everyone: -reads it-
Tom: XDDDD Great going guys.
Roxas: XDDDDDDD Emma, you and I are INSANE.
Emma: XDDDDDDDDD YOU THINK?
Monique: XDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
Naminé: Anyway... Back to reading...
Tom: Let’s find a good story. Hmmm...
Monique: -looks- ...This is called “Antonym”. “Maybe they just worked together.” Haxiku?
Naminé: I think it’s a typo for Haxikku. Let’s read it.
Narrator: They did just that.
Roxas: TT_TT MY MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!
Monique: Moral of the story: Never assume anything.
Tom: Ahhhhhhhh... Wrong images... D:
Emma: ...It could have been lemon? DDD:
Roxas: ...Lemon?
Emma: Um... It could have GRAPHIC you-know-what...
Naminé: Yeah. At least it only implied that Riku and Haxcz did “it”.
Tom: ANYONE HAVE SOAP FOR THE MIND? DDDD:
Roxas: Unfortunately, no.
Monique: ...Let’s read something else...
Tom: Can we go the safe ratings category?
Emma: K-K+. Sure. -does that-
Roxas: Holy, there’s a lot less now.
Emma: People write lots of T and M rated stuff.
Naminé: M? o.O
Emma: Luckily, we didn’t come across that, due to the fact FFN only displays K-T unless you purposely change it...
Roxas: Who would DO that?
Monique: Perverted people?
A/N: I was bored. So decided to write this thing. it’s slightly AU to KH4... It actually happens in a AU.
Narrator: Once, five good friends--
Roxas: We’re good friends? I didn’t notice.
Narrator: -facepalm- Shut up Roxas. Anyhow, once, they went to an alternate universe where there adventure had become the 4th installment in the Kingdom Hearts series--
Roxas: OHMYGOD. ALTERNATE UNIVERSES EXIST?
Narrator: We’ve been travelling them, dumbass. Anyway, they found a computer, and browsed their FanFiction.net category. Enter a little flash back.
Naminé: What’s this. “Ur rite i du hav emoshens,” It has romance as a genre...
Emma: It doesn’t list the pairing. It’s probably has something to do with nobodies... Gah. How to we figure out the pairing?
Monique: How about we check the author’s profile?
Emma: -pouts- I was gonna say that... You meanie...
Naminé: Whatever. -clucks the author’s name, “AuthorOfDestiny14”-
" hi! im rachel im 15, luv reading, drawin’, & surfing. ships belo.
my otp is & wil alway b roxma (Roxas/Emma). he is always “bonking” her he he..."
Roxas: That was taken shamelessly out of context.
Emma: That’s like... EW.
Naminé: ...lets keep reading...
"next is mikini (Mikayi/Serini). thes 2 frends shud b mor. Gaarin, ukire, dio, go n di."
Naminé: o.o I pretty sure Mikayi and Serini aren’t lesbians...
Tom: Where are Mikayi and Serini anyway?
Monique: Who knows.
"Next is Tom/Grey Guardian, hes doin “work” 4 her... i hav no detales, i hav 2 wate 4 mi copi of kh5... sob."
Tom: What the hell? WHO IS THE GREY GUARDIAN?
Emma: We shall keep reading.
"Least favs
namine/roxas god this is orfl, bin dun 2 deth. + i hate namine. she shud di."
Naminé: ...she forgot the accent... I hate it when people do that...
"tom/kirthana god, she givs him 1 hug n evry1 is screemin “THEIR CANNON THEIR CANNON!”. "
Emma: She obviously hasn’t got KH5... and you have a cannon???
Tom: What??? And no!!!
Emma: ...never mind... and okay then.
Monique: that’s it, I’m not reading anymore. Let’s go back.
Narrator: So they went back to the front page.
Naminé: Hey this one looks good. “Her spirit will always be with him. But he’ll never know it, and that’s what breaks her heart,” is says it’s something called “Emvek”... What’s Emvek? o.o
Emma: Must be me and Vivek. Let’s read it. :3
Narrator: So they read it.
Monique: Aww... So sorry for you Emma.
Emma: -shrugs- It’s just fanfic.
Roxas: It was a bit weird how he was in love with Rosie.
Naminé: But I like that fic. :3 It was written well. Let’s see the profile.
"Hello! This is the awesome profile of the awesome Katikara54! I am one of those people who write all and every ship, but my favourites aaaarrrrrreeee...
Tom (or Bortert, whichever) and Kirthana.
Lolia and Ekren
Naminé and Roxas
But I once wrote a wonderfully smutty Lolia/Ariola. See list of stories below.
I’m out of things to say... So... Bye?
~Katikara54"
Monique: At least this one has grammar skills...
Naminé: Let’s check the list.
"1: Guided.
Her spirit will always be with him. But he’ll never know it, and that’s what breaks her heart. EMVEK.
2: What He Wants
Most immortals would force her to be with him. He can’t hurt her like that. He wishes he could. ONESIDED AYSKAYAxMONIQUE
3: Shreds
Without her, he can feel his heart breaking to shreds. MEMIKU.
4: Explosion
They are one, together. They can feel the explosions. LOLIAxARIOLA.
INCEST. YURI. LEMON.
5: The Cold Angel
He didn’t really tell if she could show emotion. But he loved her with all his heart. EKROLIA."
Monique:
Let’s NOT read “Explosion”.Roxas: What do we read?
Naminé: How about “What He Wants”.
Narrator: They read that one too. As opposed to eating it.
Monique: ;.; I feel so guilty now.
Naminé: Poor guy...
Tom: Way to go Monique...
Emma: That was... Depressing...
Tom: WE NEED TO READ SOMETHING HAPPY NOW!
Roxas: -goes back to front page- “ ‘HEEEEEEEEELP! ROXAS WANTS TO EAT ME! I’M THE ONE WHO LIKES EATING PEOPLE!’ a very odd day with Roxas, Emma, and false cannibalism. NOT A ROXMA. NOT A ROXMA.”
Naminé: -clicks on link-
Everyone: -reads it-
Tom: XDDDD Great going guys.
Roxas: XDDDDDDD Emma, you and I are INSANE.
Emma: XDDDDDDDDD YOU THINK?
Monique: XDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
Naminé: Anyway... Back to reading...
Tom: Let’s find a good story. Hmmm...
Monique: -looks- ...This is called “Antonym”. “Maybe they just worked together.” Haxiku?
Naminé: I think it’s a typo for Haxikku. Let’s read it.
Narrator: They did just that.
Roxas: TT_TT MY MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!
Monique:
Moral of the story: Never assume anything.Tom: Ahhhhhhhh... Wrong images... D:
Emma: ...It could have been lemon? DDD:
Roxas: ...Lemon?
Emma: Um... It could have GRAPHIC you-know-what...
Naminé: Yeah. At least it only implied that Riku and Haxcz did “it”.
Tom: ANYONE HAVE SOAP FOR THE MIND? DDDD:
Roxas: Unfortunately, no.
Monique: ...Let’s read something else...
Tom: Can we go the safe ratings category?
Emma: K-K+. Sure. -does that-
Roxas: Holy, there’s a lot less now.
Emma: People write lots of T and M rated stuff.
Naminé: M? o.O
Emma: Luckily, we didn’t come across that, due to the fact FFN only displays K-T unless you purposely change it...
Roxas: Who would DO that?
Monique: Perverted people?